ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

Several times a year my job as an actor has me working as a “standardized patient”. What you ask is that? Well, if you haven’t seen the Seinfeld episode, basically it is training to be a fake patient in order to test medical students on their clinical skills. Each “patient” is required to learn a script that includes all of his/her symptoms, personal and social history. Once that’s done the patient has to figure out what is known as the “affect” – the outward behaviour of the patient motivated by all of the aforementioned factors. To ensure consistency it is extremely important that all candidates get the same exam so, as an actor, it is very important to stick to the script. To be fair, and ensure that you get the results you want (i.e., the correct diagnosis), the “patient” must ensure every medical student gets the right information and the same affect to allow them to ask the right questions.

Lately I’ve seen a lot in the news and on various internet sites lambasting doctors for their lack of holistic knowledge and skills. And, while I certainly don’t think all medical practitioners (or personal trainers for that matter!) are up to date and open minded it seems to me there are a few lessons as a patient/client to be taken from the standardized patient experience.

I strongly believe that no matter what type of health practitioner you are seeing, to get the right result you need to: 1) have a script; 2) stick to the script; 3) be clear with what you are saying; 4) ask the right questions; and 5) listen to the answers. Sounds a bit like life doesn’t it?

So with that in mind I’ve come up with my list of top 5 crib notes that as a patient/client/(insert appropriate word here), you need to ensure your script contains in order to get the right results.

1. Are you asking the right questions? Do you even know what the REAL question is? Have you ever had one of those fights with someone and realize half way through you aren’t really mad about the fact they didn’t do the dishes or send you flowers on your birthday? This is the same thing. To the best of your ability know what you are trying to fix before you try to fix it! Be clear on what the issue is. As a personal trainer one of my biggest challenges are people who aren’t clear with their goals and therefore aren’t asking the right questions. I often ask why people came to me and they say “I want to get fit” or “ I need to get healthy” – well, what does that mean to you? While there may be some standard assumptions of what that means, my definition may be different than yours! With your medical practitioner it is the same thing. “I’m sick” doesn’t help, that assumption can be made. Unless it is obvious, be clear with the problem you need them to solve and even better give them a clue as to what you are willing to do to help solve it! Only willing to go to the work of taking a pill a couple of times a day or work out twice a week? Tell them that! Looking to make a true change and solve the problem on a bigger scale? They need to know that too! We are all trained to think and respond to questions a certain way. If you want us to go beyond that, most of us are willing, but you have to ask or we won’t waste our time or energy!

2. What does your outward “affect” say? Are you sending the message of who and what you are? This may seem simplistic. But are you really portraying yourself not just as how you want to be perceived, but how you REALLY are? If you’re scared, tell us, ditto for apprehensive, sceptical, frustrated, encouraged or even bored! Especially in the fitness world, actions really do speak as loud as words! This works for your own self perception as well. If you say you’ll fail, of course you will, if you say you’ll succeed you just may surprise yourself!

3. Are you being clear with the people in your life who have the skills to help you on your path? This is really the same as number two with a twist. I often wonder why people hire me and then don’t do the work. Why go to a doctor and not take the meds? Why go to a nutritionist and celebrate by getting fast food? Why take piano lessons but never practice in between? If you’ve taken the steps to change the script – actually do the play!

4. Are you listening? No really. Let me repeat that. Are you listening? Listening to yourself, the powers that be, that powers that you don’t want to be, the children in your life, the adults in your life? I have had many friends over the years who haven’t called for weeks on end. When asked why, they said because they didn’t want to tell me what was going on because they were scared I would tell them the truth. When you ask a question be willing to hear the answer! Often it is the unasked question that gets the loudest answer! As an actor you put yourself out there all the time, yet in some way you can hide behind your character. Not so in the real world. Just be you! You are the greatest character your play will ever have. Ask the hard questions, hear the hard answers (and really, sometimes they are much simpler than you thought!) and star on your own marquee. You have the power to be your biggest fan, but don’t forget to listen to the teachers, reviewers, friends and accolades along the way!

5. Are you consistent with your behaviour? We are all creatures of habit. If you aren’t getting the results you want, why not? We’ve all heard the saying “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while wishing for different results”. Consistency can be your best friend and your worst enemy. Don’t get distracted! See number one, then number two.

Someone wise once said “All the world’s a stage”. You have the power to be the greatest actor and director the summer blockbuster season has ever seen. Write your script, edit if necessary, surround yourself with a fabulous crew and knock em’ dead!